Bananazis

It was a relief that the English Defence League march of 80 Save-The-Queen-singing-hoodlums were kettled in by the police. For their own well-being, three lines of police provided protection from the impressive 1500-strong glasgow counter-march.
However, most alarming and distressing were the 6 nazi bananas ("Bananazis") who apparently dodged the police's tactically hermetic structures. They ran amok through the streets, assaulting a single isolated carrot. They were heard shouting "Britain has a proud yellow heritage" and there's "no place here for straight orange genes". The carrot was repeatedly pummeled and even ran for refuge into Argyle Shopping Centre followed by chants of "Root them Out! Root them out!". More sinister threats of the carrot being "Diced" or "julienned" were also reported.
This is not the first non-banana to be victimised: some carrots feature on EDL's hitlist website "www.redwatchonline.org" and have been attacked in their homes as a result.